The Teacher's Resource Depot

Question:
Hi,
Let me break this down. I have a child in preschool, and there is a child in his class who displays classic Autism Spectrum behavior (echolalia, toe walking, more). I recognized this before the teacher even did, and because of confidentiality, none of the parents can know exactly what is going on with him and what is being done as far as intervention is concerned. I totally understand that. The problem is, the child is starting to display agressive and violent behaviors (kicking, pushing, hitting, throwing, taking toys away, being generally destructive) that affect some or all of the other kids, especially the girls. I have doubt that the parents are taking it very seriously, as I have seen his mother ignore some of these behaviors or even laugh as he destroyed a craft station. She acts as though preschool is a time for her to check out mentally, but she is required to volunteer in the classroom once a week (it is a co-op). Since we are in a co-op, there is one credentialed elementary schoolteacher and 6-7 parent volunteers on any given day. Though the teacher has realized that he needs a behavior plan and there is a no tolerance policy for agressive behavior, to limit words when giving instructions and be clear and concise with commands/requests, not all parents are on board with this. Some let the child get away with the hitting because they think he is just excited or because they are too lazy to do anything, or even because they may feel sympathetic or sorry for the child’s situation. I feel like it is a disservice to the child to ignore any negative agressive behaviors, because it will continue if it is not routinely addressed and taken care of. I am not talking corporal punishment here….just a clear plan for behavior, structure in his daily school routine, and to not tolerate any agressive outbursts. I am going to have a meeting with the teacher (who is great, she is just overwhelmed with meeting this child’s needs and dealing with her own child in the class and one child with extreme behavioral issues). Does anyone have any suggestions? What kind of resources are out there as far as getting an aide is concerned (California)? Can the parents get assistance or have an aide provided for them through a program other than just the state? I am at a loss and I want to be educated before going into this meeting. There needs to be some cohesiveness between the parents and the teacher (even though there is a sensitivity issue and confidentiality, everyone needs to know how to help and deal with this in a positive manner) and I strongly believe he needs an aide because of the agression and his tendency to try to escape the school or wander into the workshop (storage room with scissors and paper cutter), but I don’t know where to start when we are dealing with preschool. Since this is a co-op with one regular elementary/preschool teacher, is she equipped to handle this situation and give this child the best possible opportunities education-wise? I am unsure…….I am a serious advocate for mainstreaming, but when my child’s (or any other child’s) safety and well being is concerned, I feel something needs to be done. Help me!!